watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I want to fling myself into the sun
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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