It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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