i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
