I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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