ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
