I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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