i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
