Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Bring me that man meat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
