i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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