I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i out mim tonsoeep
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
