just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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