Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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