I think I am morally bankrupt
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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