your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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