Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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