tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
