You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
