I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
