we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
