and i looked up. we had an audience...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
