i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
