it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
