Your dad touched me again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
