This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
