We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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