Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
