There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
