you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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