if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
