Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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