Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
