She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
