gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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