a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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