That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
