Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
