It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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