Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
