i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
