My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
