And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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