the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
