Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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