I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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