He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize