My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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