his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
