i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
