don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
my liver is dry heaving
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
