My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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