you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
