ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
