That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
