how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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