Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
