I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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