Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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