He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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