Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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