so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
