she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
